if i need help, i'll ask you for it

if there's one thing i'm sure of, it's that i am a good mother. i understood before i had my 1st child that my life will no longer be mine. when i was in the hospital after delivery, i requested one morning that the nursery hold my baby until i finished taking a shower. as the nurse was walking out of my room, she had the nerve to say, "you'd better get used to having your baby around; life's not a party anymore." i stopped her by saying, "my life wasn't a party before. i'm just taking advantage of a baby-free moment while one's available." my husband had taken off work for a week to be with me & instead, spent that time with his brother at the malls. so, i was alone in the hospital. i deserved a moment.

i'm what you might call, a watcher. i see good techniques that i can try & learn from others' mistakes. i pay attention to differences in the personalities & needs of others, my own children included. i don't just go through the motions of taking care of them... feeding, brushing teeth, changing diapers, bathing, dressing, doctors, school, bedtime, dragging them along w/ me where ever i go... i am invested in them, i care for them, i raise them. i desire for them to learn & grow & mature. i am ever changing myself to better meet their needs... and i do say "needs". having a zhu zhu pet or a pack of McD's french fries is not a need; socialization is a need, rest is a need, progressive learning is a need. learning they are God's children & why is a need. a mother is not only a woman who bears a child, it is a woman who raises a child.

what i'm trying to say is that, as a mother, i do know what i'm doing. i don't share with the world what my plans are for dealing with particular problem, or why one may be fussy, or the process i had or have to go through to accomplish a thing with my children because i don't feel like it's your business. i don't tell other's how to raise their children, because i have my own. the only advise i can give is that of my own experience with the knowledge that all people, including children, are different & require their own kind of attention.

you see, the idea of "nobody's perfect", doesn't give you the authority to throw your opinions at other women. the plain truth is that we care just as much about your random opinionated advise as you do about ours (which, u'd have to admit, is not much). now, i enjoy advise, but only when it's presented as a option, not a mandate. so, let me do my job, because for my own children, i do it best. & if i need help, i'll ask you for it.