What's goin on!

Let's see...

1. I am to have another baby & maaan, am I always sick



2. I am currently trying to convince one significant other to NOT buy a new truck



3. I have been visiting my mom a lot



4. I am looking forward to getting back to my church cuz I've been missing for a little while. BTW: wonderful job Lauren & Charlie, so I hear



5. I have been on a major Sunday school songs download with my children bringing back some good, old memories for myself
   ("Alive, alive, alive forevermore..." "& the house on the sand went *splat!")



6. The bills seem a little overwhealming, but this too shall pass



7. I have fantastic health insurance ♥ (can you hear the choirs singing?)



8. I will spend the next week shredding papers



9. I will spend the rest of the day possibly swimming



10. I am thinking of making a roast for dinner tomorrow

who would've thought

so, i found out that there are quite a few!.. people who actually read this, despite the "0 comments" below (get a gmail account & say something for crying out loud!) i pour my little ♥ out every once in a while & all i get is "oh yeah, btw, i read ur blog" haha... u've all made me a cyber leper! *** no, that's alright though. i do prefer face-to-face. that way we have something to talk about other than, "we could really use some rain, huh".

what's fresh on my mind right now, besides this lingering headache, is my toddler. she's just starting to catch on to jokes in movies. 2 nights ago, bedtime, i put on "the land before time". Peetrie said "(sniff, sniff) i smell, i smell, hmm, ducky" & my baby was cracking up! she repeated the line to me & laid in her bed laughing for about 5 straight minutes. the next morning was slow moving (thank God! bcuz i was exhausted from always having to sleep on a pillow-top; it's SO uncomfortable, but i sacrifice for my husband) & i replayed the same movie. i was sitting behind the girls folding laundry. when Peetrie said that line again, i saw my 2yr old's head sloooowly rise from behind her headboard & she had this sly smile across her face; when she caught my eye, she busted out laughing. she quoted the movie line all day.

*sigh... she's crazy... takes after me all the way. the other one is definitely her father's child; i take no responsibility for that attitude!

i must say, i enjoy being a mother. i'm tired, a lot, & achy, bcuz you know much of the "baby phase" is spent bent over (& not in the good way - that happens b4 the "baby phase")... i'm talking about picking up & putting down & fixing clothes & straightening up toys & wiping noses & listening to secrets & cleaning spills & holding back fists & pulling out laundry & hiding in the closet & seeking under the bed &... wow, i'm achy just typing it!

but when i get a moment to step back & observe where i am & who i have in my life, i feel... complete. my family is picturesque. & we have issues, but there isn't really anyone who doesn't. the issues give you something to do, something to talk about, something to remember. & when you think about it that way, the "issues" become picturesque. & so it seems that because of our imperfections, we have a perfect family. this is what God has blessed me with.

He has also blessed me with all of you who are reading this & will leave me w/ "0 comments", but catch up with me next week, or next month, saying "oh yeah, btw, i read ur blog". & i say thank you for the love. & now that u've finished reading this, u can go & secretly google that so-&-so u haven't heard from in 10yrs & leave them w/ "0 comments". i suppose the only difference btwn the 2 of us is that i now know that u're on my page. LOL! just calling it like it is.

♥ you always

10 Things That Gross Me Out

• watching people eat chips & popcorn
  
• hoodies (not in general, just on me)
  
• french manicures on toenails... bcuz toenails should NEVER be long... EVER
  
• construction boots
  
• women with mustaches (i'm not talking about baby hairs; i mean actual mustaches)
  
• when someone's breath smells like cereal
  
• men with really big muscles
  
• pillows that smell like head skin
  
• rodents
  
• ham & potatoes

Doing my part to assist the school that I grew up at...

Life Center Academy, Burlington, NJ

The Dog Days

i have to be honest with you... summer is truly kickin my butt. i'm tired all the time, have a slight headache all the time, sinuses are plugged all the time & i have not much to blame but the swimming. i don't even do that much in the pool; half the time, not even all my hair gets wet.

one very good thing is that my children are starting to swim w/out my assistance, with floaties of coarse; they are still young, and short. we go to my mother's sometimes to swim. i get a little jealous. they should've gotten a pool a long time ago when i and my siblings were younger. that quite possibly could've changed many things. but we all have children now & they all can enjoy the pool brand new.

i guess this is what they call the dog days of summer... when you ramble on about things that serve no partcular purpose just because you're hot, exhausted, & ready for fall. my break from it is the one hour of gymnastics my daughter is in once a week. i can't even see her practicing, but the excitement of being there will be saved for another post; one much more exciting & worth reading than this one.

i apologize for wasting the last 2 minutes of your time. i am excited for the next season of glee... shout out! & i'm outta here.

10 Little Known Facts About Someone In The World... ME

1. Water is my favorite drink, orange juice takes second place.
   
2. I have a difficult time functioning in chaos. I'll escape to my own head space & concern myself only with what i can affect.
   
3. I am a firm believer of putting 110% into the things I do, even if nobody pays attention to it & I'm not getting paid.
   
4. When listening to a song, either new or familiar, I hear the harmonies in it before the melody.
   
5. I would prefer every single lamp in my home to be Tiffany Style.
   
6. Saying that I'm from New Jersey makes me feel good about myself.
   
7. I would like to have a son.
   
8. I love Dolly Parton, although I'm not partial to most country music.
   
9. I am not too crazy about rainbows... & brightly colored patterns and decoration that remind me of rainbows.
   
10. The right side of my body is slightly thinner than my left.

if i need help, i'll ask you for it

if there's one thing i'm sure of, it's that i am a good mother. i understood before i had my 1st child that my life will no longer be mine. when i was in the hospital after delivery, i requested one morning that the nursery hold my baby until i finished taking a shower. as the nurse was walking out of my room, she had the nerve to say, "you'd better get used to having your baby around; life's not a party anymore." i stopped her by saying, "my life wasn't a party before. i'm just taking advantage of a baby-free moment while one's available." my husband had taken off work for a week to be with me & instead, spent that time with his brother at the malls. so, i was alone in the hospital. i deserved a moment.

i'm what you might call, a watcher. i see good techniques that i can try & learn from others' mistakes. i pay attention to differences in the personalities & needs of others, my own children included. i don't just go through the motions of taking care of them... feeding, brushing teeth, changing diapers, bathing, dressing, doctors, school, bedtime, dragging them along w/ me where ever i go... i am invested in them, i care for them, i raise them. i desire for them to learn & grow & mature. i am ever changing myself to better meet their needs... and i do say "needs". having a zhu zhu pet or a pack of McD's french fries is not a need; socialization is a need, rest is a need, progressive learning is a need. learning they are God's children & why is a need. a mother is not only a woman who bears a child, it is a woman who raises a child.

what i'm trying to say is that, as a mother, i do know what i'm doing. i don't share with the world what my plans are for dealing with particular problem, or why one may be fussy, or the process i had or have to go through to accomplish a thing with my children because i don't feel like it's your business. i don't tell other's how to raise their children, because i have my own. the only advise i can give is that of my own experience with the knowledge that all people, including children, are different & require their own kind of attention.

you see, the idea of "nobody's perfect", doesn't give you the authority to throw your opinions at other women. the plain truth is that we care just as much about your random opinionated advise as you do about ours (which, u'd have to admit, is not much). now, i enjoy advise, but only when it's presented as a option, not a mandate. so, let me do my job, because for my own children, i do it best. & if i need help, i'll ask you for it.

Late Night Ramblings

it's 1:30 in the morning & i still have no desire to go to sleep, although i am tired. my husband can't find his sunglasses. he allowed our daughter to play with them earlier & she pulled a houdini on us. what's knowingly ironic is that they are probably in the most obvious place & we're just overkilling the idea of "thinking like a 4 yr old". but apparently he can't go to work if he doesn't have his sunglasses (but he can walk out the door in february wearing wet jeans from my having forgotten to switch his clothes to the dryer). he says to me, "u wanna help me find them!? get up & help me find them." ...hello childhood!, we meet again, but for some reason you don't look like my father.

i watched the wierdest movie today during nap time... "falling angels". if you want to know about it, it's on hulu. there's a reason that some movies don't even make it to the shelf in blockbuster. it reminded me of a phase that TNT went through some years ago when they played movies that no one had ever heard of, like "hotel splendid" & ted danson films & some other foriegn flick about a singer who was castrated as a child & would court women w/ his intact brother. we do live in a strange world... with strange people... who do strange things.

i took my girls to the playground today, before nap time. that place is incredible; newly openned & there is so much to do. we did have about a 2 minute window when we were the only ones there. it almost felt illegal because the playground is big enough to feel like it's not possible to be alone in it. i think it's funny to watch all the mothers who are overprotective of their children, telling them how to put one foot in front of the other on flat ground; they are very oddly controlling, masking this feature with frightened eyes. u know, it is possible to properly monitor ur children w/out making them feel like it was a mistake to leave the crib.

it's getting closer to 2 am. who would've thought it would've taken up a half an hour to collect those few thoughts. this shows exactly how easy it is to get lost in them... mmm... LOST... now that's a good show. anyway, i'll go to bed now, still not in the mood to, but i'll do it anyway because it's an important part of the cycle of living... u wake, u eat, u work, u eat, u sleep. so i think i'll do the sleeping part right now... till next time.

Respect The Need

i feel like i need to vent. i need to talk about needs, and other people's lack of respect for them. see, one fact has remained steady all since the fall in eden... people have the capability to be astonishingly selfish.

i was in the basement, just moments ago, trying to do laundry that's a week overdue when i got to thinking about my parents. it dawned on me, how wonderful they are, how selfless (yet reasonable) they are, how helpful they are. they truly are good parents & i would have to say that they have done most things right, even when they seem wrong at the time. i have a sister who lives out of state with her own family of 5. whenever the 5 of them visit, my parents give up their own king size bed in their own bedroom & settle for a full size in a child's room to accommodate the needs of their children. there was a time they would settle for bunk beds, until i took them for my children. i'd say, in that case, i did them a favor.

on the other hand, i spent a week at a beach house with other family members (i refuse to name names because someone may read this and let word spread, not like they won't be able to figure it out by now), and there were four bedrooms upstairs. those rooming upstairs included two sets of pairs & two sets of pairs w/ a child. wouldn't you know, both sets of pairs cozied themselves up in the only two big rooms in the house, leaving the other two closet-sized rooms for the other two couples who each had a child (i was a member of a pair w/ child). and they had absolutely no intention of giving up their luxury to accommodate their own children who had children. i had to step on our crib mattress just to get to the door to exit my room & kneel on my bed to dress. & someone even had the audacity to offer a place in her big room for my daughter, only. even though i paid an equal portion into the week rental.

now, i believe myself to be a reasonable person. i'm willing to step aside so that the needs of another can be met. i'm also sensible, and i know how to not be walked over. i have questions... what makes us believe that our own desires are more important than meeting a need in which we have the power to do so? why can't we give up a big bedroom to someone who has to fit in more people, instead of offering to take away their toddler for the week? why can't we suck it up and take care of the newly moved in, immobile, elderly woman (who is also family, & in this situation, can you believe i was actually asked if she was an inconvenience to me)? who do we think we are that causes us to be so unwilling to adjust?

it's sickening.

it's even written in our nation's Declaration of Independence, which is what separates us from others:

But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same
Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their
right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards
for their future security.

it's a fancy way of saying that if there is a need, anyone who has the ability to meet it also has the responsibility to do so. & God meets our needs, does He not? (& i do say NEEDS). "The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy you needs..." Isaiah 58:11.

i'm gonna end my blog with one message: "he who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God." Proverbs 14:31. & remember, there is more than one way to be poor.

how to P90X?

well, i started the P90X Lean workout program 3 days ago & i've come to one conclusion... this is gonna be an interesting run. why?

i bought it (uuuumm...) maybe 3 weeks ago. a day or 2 after it came in the mail, i got sick. it was the beginnings of tonsillitis, but i fought it off; then moved to laryngitis, & i rested through; then moved to bronchitis, but i fought (hard) it off. about 2 & a half weeks and many, many doses of theraflu, robitussin, hot showers, scarfs, theraflu teas, honey teas, couch sleepings, spoonfuls of honey & salt waters later, came the recupe. No voice, no energy, & a small persistant cough... & runny nose. i needed food! so, i ate. it was nice to have something besides soup broth & oatmeal, although i must admit, i will NEVER tire of orange juice.

finally, 3 days ago, my husband was home to watch the kids, & i started P90X Lean. good workout, i loved it, only did 40mins of the hour dvd though. i hadn't worked out that hard since before my 1st pregnancy... let me tell you, being a woman takes a toll on the body!

i skipped the next day, cuz the next day was sunday, and sundays are church & lunch & kids & church again & overall busy days. then came today, day 2 of workout. home alone with the kids & the dog & the turkey vulture eating a dead creature across the street. one daughter brought in her socks & sneakers to work out with me. the other was playing with kitchen foods. the dog was pacing, stir crazy from the noreaster; although the sun was out, the yard was wet & cold. i started P90X. CARDIO!

it took me about an hr & a half to do an hour workout. why? let me collect my memories from that block of time...............

i dropped my body onto the dog (who, by the way, was licking my shoe), instead of the floor. i was kicking toys off the mat. my daughter got tired of doing it, so i kicked her off the mat. the baby, quite often, tried for "pick-ups" all up on me. the other got her doodle pad to draw the excersices & i kicked her off the mat (again) to the couch. i jumped on the dogs foot. the mat was junk, so i kicked it off itself. the baby laid down on the back of my legs during some yoga stretch (i dont remember the name of the stretch cuz my other child was loudly trying to show me her drawing of it). the baby & the dog decided to play 'london bridge' under my downward facing dog, which it why i couldn't do the warriors. i banana rolled into one of the 8 or 9 large peices of furniture in the room (dont bother suggesting i go to another room, cuz they're all the same).

i got through it, though, because i can be a persistant little bugger. i am determined to get myself in better shape, because it's healthy, and i'm short, and i have big thighs... *sigh* my age old complaint. and i know the Lord didn't give me these thighs; 20th century food availability & laziness did. & i need to do something about it.

tomorrow, day 3.